Why Do Etiquettes and Respect Matter in Islam?
While pleasing Allah (SWT) is one of the key motives for Muslims, they are also required to fulfill Haqoq ul-ibad (the rights of people). One of the fundamental rights of people is to be treated with respect, politeness, and empathy.
The Quran instructs Muslims to maintain a polite demeanor.
“And tell my servants to say that which is best. Indeed, Satan induces [dissension] among them. Indeed Satan is ever, to mankind, a clear enemy.” Surat Al-‘Isrā’ (17:53).
Etiquette and respect should be part of every Muslim’s personality in such a way that they can be recognized through their politeness of manner and conduct.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “The most beloved to me amongst you is the one who has the best character and manners.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari 3759). The Arabic and Urdu words ‘Adab’ mean (good) manners or etiquette. Adab defines the core characteristics of a good Muslim and holds a central importance in the Islamic way of life.
Many Quranic verses and Hadiths emphasize the importance of etiquette and respect in human interactions. In this article, we will examine some of these sources and explore how respect plays a crucial role in Muslim society.
Following the Prophet’s (ﷺ) Conduct
The Prophet Muhammad’s (ﷺ) own conduct is a leading example for all Muslims. The Quran praises the Prophet (ﷺ) in the following verses:
“So by mercy from Allah , [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah . Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him].” (Surat ‘Āli `Imrān, 3:159)
In another verse, the Quran Declares:
“And We have not sent you, [O Muhammad], except as a mercy to the worlds.” (Al-Anbya, 21:107)
Since Muslims are expected to follow the Sunnah of the Prophet (ﷺ), they should make kindness and respect the cornerstone of their daily behavior. The very first rule of Adab is to ensure that one respects the creator, Allah (SWT), in every aspect. That means they must devote their energies to living according to Allah’s (SWT) will.
The Importance of Etiquette in Building Character
Etiquette is not just a quality – it is also an ongoing process that requires patience, control, and self-reflection. In Islam, etiquette is highly emphasized as it fosters brotherhood and cordiality among communities within a society. Good manners and etiquette include spreading peace, showing concern for others, praying for Muslim brothers and sisters, and giving everyone the respect they deserve. Islam recognizes and rewards endeavors to build good character as an act of worship.
According to the Following Hadith:
Abu Ad-Dardh narrated that the Messenger of Allah said: “Nothing is placed on the Scale that is heavier than good character. Indeed, the person with good character will have attained the rank of the person of fasting and prayer.” (Jami` at-Tirmidhi, 2003)
In another Hadiath, the Prophet (ﷺ) promises great rewards for those with great character.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Shall I tell you about who is most beloved to me and the one who will be seated closest to me on the Day of Judgment?” The people were silent, so he repeated that two or three times. Then the people said, “Yes, O Messenger of Allah.” He said, “The one among you with the best character.” (Sahih, Al-Albani)
Respecting the Elders, Family, and Society in the Light of the Quran
The Quran instructs Muslims to treat their parents with respect. The following verses forbid believers to show discontentment or resentment towards parents, hence asking to practise the highest form of Adab,
“And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], “uff,” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.” (Surat Al-‘Isrā’, 17:23)
The Prophet (ﷺ) taught believers to practise mercy and honor elders.
Amr bin Shu’aib narrated that his father, from his grandfather, who said that the Messenger of Allah said: ‘He is not one of us who does not have mercy upon our young, nor knows the honor of our elders.” (Jami` at-Tirmidhi, 1920)
Allah (SWT) also instructs Muslims to extend good treatment to others and forbids expressions that carry arrogance or contempt towards people.
In the Following Verses, Allah (SWT) Says:
“And do not turn your cheek [in contempt] toward people and do not walk through the earth exultantly. Indeed, Allah does not like everyone self-deluded and boastful.” (Surat Luqmān, 31:18)
In the following verses, Allah (SWT) further asks believers to adopt a moderate demeanor:
“And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys.” (Surat Luqmān, 31:19)
In another verse, Allah (SWT) asks believers to adopt kindness, even when confronted with harshness.
“And the servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk upon the earth easily, and when the ignorant address them [harshly], they say [words of] peace” (Surat Al-Furqān, 25:63)
Allah’s Apostle (ﷺ) said: “Kindness is not to be found in anything but that it adds to its beauty and it is not withdrawn from anything but it makes it defective.” (Sahih Muslim, 2594a)
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Conclusion
Islam’s teachings on etiquette and respect, as outlined in the Quran and Sunnah, serve as a reminder to focus on building human relationships based on love, kindness, and mutual respect. The ideal of Adab is not merely a social recommendation but the essence of Islamic spirituality.
The teachings of the Quran and the exemplary conduct of the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) emphasize that respect for others, especially elders and family members, is among the fundamental requirements of Islam. Helping the needy is another great ideal prescribed by Islam. Donate to Transparent Hands to ensure that underprivileged patients receive medical assistance to start a new life. Donate to Transparent Hands now!
Read More:
Islamic Teachings on Respecting Parents
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